Best Albums of 2008

1. TV on the Radio - Dear Science
2. Delta Spirit - Ode to Sunshine
3. Muscles - Guns, Babes, Lemonade (OK - this came out in 2007, but I just got in in 2008. And it rules SO HARD that it still makes the list)
4. Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
5. Wolf Parade - At Mt. Zoomer
6. Tallest Man on Earth - Shallow Grave
7. Portishead - Third
8. The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
9. Lil Wayne - Tha Carter III (Oh god - I know. But really - it rules)
10. All those albums I think I'm going to love, but haven't listened to enough yet - Jay Reatard, Deerhunter, David Byrne/Brian Eno, No Age, M83. Others.)

My Own Year in Review

January

• Started out the year after what has turned out to be a fairly crucial turning point for our family. Sometimes things need to crack in order to heal.
• Turned 26
• Applied to graduate school to study business and media and stuff in NYC, Canada and Chicago

February

• Voted Obama in a very exciting, packed local primary.
• Said goodbye to my Grandma - one of the most warm, most fun, most full of life people I have ever known.
  
• Ate at White Castle on Valentine's Day with Justin, Molly and Eric
• Drove M & E to the airport, sent them off to Haiti for what felt like a very long time. Cried, but didn't really know what about and worried a lot those first few days.
• Flew to Hawaii. Laid on many beaches. Watched whales. Read 100 Years of Solitude to the sound of waves crashing. Learned to surf. Ate a lot of avocados, drove a rental car, went to a random party with locals and freeloaders, laughed a lot.

March

• Got really tired of hearing Sublime everywhere and feeling like no one was aware that the whole rest of the world existed - flew home to cold, grey Minnesota ready for spring and more sunshine, but were really ready to talk about things and spend time with friends and participate in the world again.
• In an effort to brighten up day to day life, I redecorated my office
• Listened to Menomena
  
• I was accepted into NYU and all of a sudden was maybe going to move to New York
  
• Signed up for a hip hop dance class through community ed
• Mom gave me her sewing machine, and an adventure began!
  

April

• I made my first skirt.... and then another one and another one and then I made a dress. And another one. And another one.
  
• Hip hop dance class cancelled - and sewing club was born!
• Beirut on my headphones on the morning bus to work
  
• Molly and I navigated letters between Minnesota and Haiti on the blue light electronic pony express
• Justin and I celebrated one year of being married. And we didn't really know how to celebrate that since it was our first time, so we ate sushi and went shopping and loved each other so wonderfully much for another day.
  

May

• New bike!
• It snowed again - and we all thought spring would NEVER come and everyone got really irritated.
• Decided not to go to NYU, but then flew out to New York anyway to hang with friends and spend a weekend in another place.
• No emails from Haiti for three weeks! Boo....
• Made my first bag out of neckties. Huh. Cool.
  
• Decided that maybe Justin should go back to school instead, and realized again that plan-making is for suckers, because nothing ever really goes how you expect.

June

• Molly and Eric are back for a few wonderful weeks! A bigger world fills our house, we squeeze them tight and then release them again to Nicaragua, Argentina, and beyond...
• The sun is back!
• Started dreaming about life outside of my FCS office and began to email myself new job opportunities
• Listend to Muscles a lot
  
• Realized that neckties are a totally badass thing to make stuff out off, and ordered myself a box of 300 from ebay, and this whole sewing thing took on a new life altogether.

July

• Rearranged our house... spread out and welcomed the light.
• New blog! It's good to write things down.
  
• New plan! Justin enrolls in MCTC's graphic design program for fall 2008.
• Pitchfork 2008! Justin and Colin and I head down for quality time with Dan Wren, the Hold Steady and Dinosaur Jr.
• I start to go beyond browsing... applications sent out for new jobs.
• I begin an account at etsy.com called Tart Design.
  
• Molly and I discover the miracle of the telephone.
  

August

• Cell phones suck! We ditch em and buy an old-school land line.
• I apply for a job with The New Teacher Project.
• Justin gets laid off, starts classes.
• I start calling in sick. A lot.

September

• Tart Design - first sale!!
• Shalee, Kristina and I head to Wisconsin Dells for dancing, roller coasters, mooning and general troublemakery.
  
• The New Teacher Project calls and I accept a part time job, put in my notice at FCS and begin the wild ride of pursuing a happier day to day.
  

October

• I head in to Saint Paul Public Schools for my first day with The New Teacher Project.
• Justin turns 29!
  
• I find myself with 4 jobs instead of one suddenly - still working for FCS, working at a new job, writing for three websites, filling Tart Design orders, and feeling overwhelmed all the time.
• Polka girls get a tattoo.
  
• Buy a new macbook, and it totally rules so hard. I'll never go back.
• Molly and Eric begin life in Tanzania and the light splits open a little again...

November

• Holy shit - Obama is elected president!!!!!
• First craft fair at the Lake Nokomis Community Center...
• My brother, Judd, gets a girlfriend.
• I feel overwhelmed and stressed for most of the month and become increasingly difficult to calm down. Still have 4 jobs.
• Tart Design is featured in Metro Magazine. This is so cool!
  

December

• FCS finally hires someone and I gradually phase them out. Thank GOD. I can breathe a little again.
• The New Teacher Project has its first interview event!
• Craft fair #2!
• Molly and Eric depart Tanzania for Greece and try to decide where to go next.
• It's cold and snowy... and New Year's is just around the corner.

I love New Year's. And I'm so excited (as always) for next year. You just NEVER know what's going to happen. And tonight, I'm feeling optimistic.

Elevator Buttons and the Great Leader of our Time

When we were kids, my brother and sister and I always used to argue about who got to push the buttons in the elevator when we were staying in hotels on vacation. It drove my parents crazy, and completely mystified them - why are these buttons so exciting? They developed intricate systems of taking turns to keep it fair.

As an adult now, I don't really understand why we each wanted so badly to push the button... but I think it definitely had something to do with the intrigue of doing something small - pushing a button and watching it light up - and causing this huge piece of machinery to move. It was kind of a miracle to me, a little girl, that I could do something that would cause such a large reaction.

I wish I could've voted multiple times yesterday.... and I definitely would've argued with anyone who wanted to take the right to do it once away from me. It felt so special - so big - so important. To push my small button in my little corner of Minneapolis, and then to watch the world move.

And it did. And our world will (hopefully) never be the same. I think this election may have been one of the greatest choices made by a couple million people in my lifetime in the United States. And I am SO GLAD to have had the opportunity to be a part of it.

To believe in it.
To be inspired by it.

And now, to be comforted by it. Comforted by the belief that something is foundationally different in this country that will never be able to shift back. Because yesterday, we proved it was possible and blew the crack in the doors open just that much wider.

What else will we try now, now that we know it just might be possible?

Betsy between things

Transition is hard for me - changing jobs, moving apartments, cities, etc. I always think it's going to be no big deal, and it always sucks. I'm just not very good at working out the details, I think....

Anyway - thoughts about changing jobs this past week. And why it's been hard. And also, why it's good.

• So, my schedule is all different - which is great - but I never know when to eat. I don't know how to bring food for breakfast and lunch (is there a refrigerator? where will I heat it up? where will I sit to eat?)... So what happens is, I end up eating crappy food that makes me feel like shit - in the car. Lunch is, therefore, totally unsatisfying and not really a break at all. Which just throws off the whole day.
• Where do I get coffee? (Since we're hobos sometimes and don't have any at home...)
  
• Sometimes my nose is runny in the morning... and my workspace this week hasn't had any kleenex, which leads to many interruptions during which I go to the ladies to blow out my boogers.
• I don't have a central calendar with all the aspects of my life on it - so I go through the day not really knowing what I'm going to do next and constantly worried that I'm going to forget something important.
• Small thing, but often this week I haven't gotten to check my email until I get home at 10:30... which really throws me off. I'm used to just having it on all the time... and feeling very connected to everything that's trying to get in contact with me. Which is nice, since I don't have a cellphone.
• I don't have my own computer at work yet - so I don't have any of my shortcuts programmed. God, I'm such an anal nerd. But this really bothers me. Because I'm an anal nerd.
• It's been really hard to stay working part of the time at FCS... it's just so disjointed to be plunging into this new life for part of the day and then writing the staff enewsletter for the rest of it. Weird.
• Keeping track of my time and projects is going to be a pain in the ass - and setting aside portions of freelance income and bag sales for paying taxes. Boo! Taxes!
  

So - having made this list, I feel like I've spent all my energy being wrapped up in and worried about petty shit that doesn't matter at all. Which is too bad - but maybe there's a lesson to be learned here.

The following are things that are going to be really good about all this transition. I'm just not quite at the point that I know it yet.

• The organization I'm working for now is a really inspired, ambitious, hard-working place, and I think I'm really going to like me new job and coworkers. I think it will take some time for me to switch gears from the hum drum rhythym I've gotten into at FCS... because I think this job really will require thought and efficiency and kindness and responsiveness. Which is great!... I think I will be really thankful and energized by this once I can get into the swing.
• I am going to LOVE only spending 20 hours per week at my "job." Although I'm a little freaked out about having to find enough freelance work to fill in the gaps. But that an entirely different problem. This 20 hrs/week is a great thing. I'm done with "work" at 1:30! Holy cats, that's awesome!
  
• I like freelance writing.
  
• I like sewing. And I will hopefully spend a lot more time doing both of these things.
• I will actually get to be out in the daylight. And I don't have to get up in the dark.
• In general, I think I'll have to spend less time being serious. Being serious is for real adults, and I'm just not ready to surrender to that yet. I want to spend time reading music reviews and forwarding photos from cuteoverload.com and spying on exboyfriends on facebook. These are the kinds of activities that make it possible to be good at everything else.
• More time for singing loud alone in the car.

True Bullets

Animals

• Magda is a spider who has been living in our doorway. At first I was really scared of her, and couldn't wait for Justin to come home to get rid of her... but then I started watching her. She's amazing - how she creates a habitat all on her own... how she has rebuilt and destroyed her web multiple times this week... how she hides from us during the day and builds a web to catch flies by the porch light at night. As we got to know each other, I noticed I had started calling her Magda. I guess it was just her name.
• Grettel is my cat, who I talk about all the time. When it storms, Grettel starts to slink around the house, really close to the ground, ears perked and eyes open wide. When it all gets to be too much, she disappears under our bed until it's over. Yesterday, she was so slinky and scared that she lost her ability to speak all night. No meows. Just this kind of whispering squeek in the back of her throat. She's got her voice back tonight though.
• Blue is our landlord's husky who used to live in our yard. Blue, all majestic and huge and intimidating, used to sit in our little front yard unleashed and watch everyone walk by. He's completely harmless... but strangers don't know that. He has a deep growl that rumbles behind his icey blue eyes. He's a wonderful, beautiful dog.
• Today I also saw a pigeon who was spotted black and white like a cow.
  

Simultaneous First Steps

• Necktie world: Make/order business cards. And more bags. And more laptop cases. And more everything. And then make flyers!
• Freelance Writing: Apply for EcoFashion World and the other email I sent myself.
• Freelance Arts' Assisting: First, put together the proposal for Aldo - second, make flyers and post in the Northrup King, the California and all over Northeast.
• Day Job: Do some actual work to wrap this thing up.
  

Ice Cream

• Free Coldstone Creamery Day tomorrow
• Been eating too much Dairy Queen
• Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream totally rules
• I probably don't choose sherbet often enough
  

Favorite Lunch Foods

• Cloggers - avocado with hot sauce in a tortilla
• String Cheese
• Apple with Peanut Butter
• Chicken Salad Fruit Plate from D'Brian's Deli (I will miss this!)
  

Countries I Will Visit During My Life

• Thailand
• Morocco
• Peru
• Italy
  

Things I've Worried About This Week

• Our loan check
• Wells Fargo
• Molly's safe return to Buenos Aires
• My parents' approval
  

What I Will Miss About My Job

• Riding the bus
• Talks with Judy H.
• Pandora
• Paid time off
• This nice, fast computer
  

What I Will Not Miss About My Job

• Ordering lunch for meetings
• Typing Meeting Notes
• Crabbiness
• The Annual Campaign
  

Best Things About This Change

• No getting up in the dark (even in the winter!)
• Daylight - when I'm not at work!
• Sewing time
• Funny writing assignments
• Space
  

Favorite Office Supplies

• Good pens
• Flags
• Colorful file folders
• Little fan
  

Friends I Miss Today

• Aaron
• Dan
• Jono
• Ben
• JillMarie
• Summer
  

Favorites of Justin's T-shirts

• Mastodon
• Blue with bird
• Green National
• Mark Gonzalez
  

Good Movies

• The Dark Knight
• Footloose
• Sneakers
• Harold & Maude

Best Things about Living in Northeast

• The park across the street
• Neighborhood bars
• Galleries everywhere
• Sentyrz
• Marina
• Emily's
• The view of downtown from our house
  

Lists I Plan to Make

• Things That Rule About Being Phenomenally Successful
• What I Buy Because I'm Rich
• How Many Ways Can I Say "I'm Good Looking"?
• Self-Talk That Really Helps (Wait. Am I doing that already?)
  

Fight back!

It seems like everyone is afraid these days - to have opinions that are too strong, to say too much, to bite off more than they can chew, to fail, to ask anything of anyone, to put yourself at risk, to invest too much in one another.

Including me. And this really eats at me.

So, in the name of speaking out - here is a short bulleted list of things I believe in today, actions I will take, requests I will make, things I want, etc.

• PeaceOne Day - This coming Sunday, September 21st, is International Peace Day. The date was designated by the voting members of the United Nations in 2001 to be a day of mandatory cease fire and nonviolence. This massive global day of peace was catalyzed by one normal person named Jeremy who really believed that one day of global peace was possible. Go to www.peaceoneday.org, watch their videos, learn about them and then do what YOU can to contribute to Peace Day. Make a peace pledge. Pass on the video. Tell someone. Something. DO something. DO DO DO DO DO. Act.
• AMURT Haiti - Our neighbor, Haiti, is in crisis. Yes, the people of Texas have lost homes and boats etc., but they have somewhere to go and resources with which to rebuild. The people of Northern Haiti have lost everything - and they had nothing to begin with. As human beings, we cannot ignore the most vulnerable among us - their suffering demands a response. From the NYTimes:
  

  "Suffering long ago became normal here, passed down through generations of children who learn that crying does no good.

  But the enduring spirit of the people of Gonaïves is being tested by a string of recent tropical storms and hurricanes whose names Haitians spit out like curses: Fay, Gustav, Hanna and Ike.

  After four fierce storms in less than a month, the little that many people had has turned to nothing at all. Their humble homes are under water, forcing them onto the roofs. Schools are canceled. Hunger is now intense. Difficult lives have become untenable ones and, if that was not enough, hurricane season has only just reached the traditional halfway mark."
  
• And the thing is, I KNOW the people who are there, helping. As my dear friend Eric says, "AMURT is not the UN or UNICEF or OXFAM or something big. they are a small group of europeans, haitians, south americans, and unitedstatesians in beards and dirty pants sleeping in tents and crappy shacks in a little dusty village with a staff of 80-some haitians and 20-some dirtbikes and two trucks -- doing some amazing work beyond their means and beyond all odds." HELP THEM. American dollars go a long way in Haiti. Donate $5, $10, $20 at www.amurthaiti.org before you do anything else today.
  
• US Politics - This McCain/Palin campaign is getting ugly and embarrassing. Speak out against low blows and distortions. Demand truth. Shut off the TV. Ask real questions. Volunteer. Ask yourself what you really believe in and then act on it.
• Believe in something - Today, I believe that most people in the world want simple things: a peaceful life, time and space to love their families and friends, occasions to celebrate, laughter, joy. My theory is that all these people who are good, who want simple things - are just too overwhelmed by how large the world's problems are... and they give up, give in, and do nothing. If only we would all do something - just one thing - this world would be so different. So much better. So strong. Today I choose to try to see the good in everyone - to see them reaching for this good life, to try to help them attain it, however I can. Today, this gives me hope for all of us.
  

Polka Dancing, Sleeping on Rooftops in the Rain

Sometimes the world makes sense. Sometimes it just doesn't.

• This weekend, Shalee, Kristina and I burst into Wisconsin Dells with our lipstick and mooning and giggling wild spirits to descend upon Polish Fest and polka our little dupas off. We danced in our spinny skirts with lots of old men (of course), got twirled around by some younger ones, took an 80-year old ballroom owner named Harold on two roller coasters (I feared for his life. Seriously. I was nervous) and ate potato pancakes and polish sausage and drank 192-proof polish liquor. Kristina also won 2nd place in a polka dancing competition which was scored (appropriately) by applause-o-meter. This world - of bobbing heads and stomping feet and barn-dance-like music with accordians and concertinas - makes total sense to me. This is a world I could live in.
• At the same time, a couple thousand + miles away, hundreds of people sit on top of their homes, weathering the 4th hurricane in less than a month... their belongings and family members lost, without food or water for days. And no one knows. The world looks away - and we forget that these people laugh and cry - they make homemade peanut butter and tell jokes and swim in the ocean and make meals for their families. And during the past week - they have lost all of what little they had. And the American media completely neglects to mention this - instead, interviewing Myrtle Beachers about whether or not they've started to stock up on water for what looks to be a "pretty bad storm" that may or may not hit the coast of the states. As grandparents and babies drown just a few hours from the Florida coast... 320 people lost and/or dead. This world makes NO sense to me.
  

I know it's only two bullets, and that doesn't necessarily make up a "bulleted list," but they're the two main thoughts I have this morning. Polka. And Haiti. And all the rest of us, mixed up in between, outside, swirling around in our own little existences.

How do we live aware - connected - with one another... without becoming lost in the immensity of difference in the world?

How do I continue to do my best with my life without ignoring all these other people - who may need help - from ME? Who may need help that I can give...?

If I can help - how do I not? How can I say no... if the only difference between me and them is that I happened to be born here instead of there?